This has been a wild week! I am not sure if I'm up or down. Homeschooling my sweet boys nearly bested me. I am taking deep breaths just recalling the emotions that have shot clear through this head of mine in the past several days. Emotions. That's all they were. That's the story of a life lived this side of heaven.
I am wholly clear that this matter of educating my young children is at the least equally about "educating" me as it is about getting through Kindergarten and PreK. If that's not the most frustrating thing I've come to understand in awhile, I don't know what else is. We experienced our first "tears" last Friday. If you are a parent who interacts with their child in any manner of teaching you understand where this is going. We were working on 2 letter phonograms (ch, sh, ea, ee, etc...) and my dear child would. not. FOCUS. Ahhhh! Let's just say, I was less than thrilled with this behavior. Then the frustration sets in and the tears start flowing...(I am even less thrilled about this). I try to explain in the most emotionally stable voice I can muster how, "...it would be SO much easier if you would copy me when I say it. Just listen!" Things like, "It's not hard! You've said it properly 6 times already." No sooner do these things leave my mouth do I begin to hear the very same thoughts in my head. No doubt the Holy Spirit affectionately exhorting me along those same lines. Emotions. Blech.
So this week begins and we've yet to get going much on our "assignments". Thank goodness for Labor Day and the excuse to not have "school" as I was a little gun shy after Friday's explosion of emotion! By today, and the grace of God both of us were ready for the day.
I am always amazed that the God of the universe turns His thoughts and even correction like a parent toward me. I think how passionately I wanted to make my own child know what I was teaching him. All that much more does our Father desire for us to know what He is teaching.
This life is just pressing lately. Like an olive being squeezed for its last drops of oil...though I know we won't be crushed. So, I lay before the Cross and repent and ask for another day to shepherd my children toward the kingdom of our Lord. Graciously, He has thus far allowed it.
All in all...Kindergarten isn't so bad!
My prayer this week,
Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!